Walt has a dinner party
by Cherno Alpha Russia
Summary: Jesse takes Lauren to see his friends, with disastrous results Jesse/OC Hank/Marie rated T for mild swearing, Michael Jackson, chippendales and roundhouse kicks. R&R Bad! Fic


Walt has a dinner party

Lauren was sitting on the couch watching Fast and Furious with an assload of fries, when she heard a knock on the door. She was too lazy to answer it so she yelled "Come in!" It was Jesse, and he had a depressed look on his face.  
"What's wrong babe?" Asked Lauryn "You forgot to take your meds again, didn't you?"  
"No, we gotta go to Walt's for a dinner party because he wants to meet you." He said. Suddenly, Fast and furious cut off to an infomercial about Cyndi Lauper and bran flakes.  
"What kind of crap do you watch babe?" Asked Jesse, who was thinking about Disney World for no reason at all. Suddenly, One Direction broke in and threw minions at them while yelling "CARROTS RULE EVERYTHING!" So Lauren, Jesse, Nicholas Cage, Michael Jackson and Madea threw fries at One Direction so they ran away hissing like cats. Then Michael Jackson tried to slap Jesse in the butt, so Madea threw him into space and gave Jesse, Lauryn and Nicholas Cage $5 bucks and exploded. Then Nicholas Cage got in a 1913 ford and drove away.  
"OMG were gonna be late babe!" Cried Lauren as she looked at her watch. She was picked up bridal style by Jesse and he ran down the street until he tripped up and they both fell in a large, disgusting, chewed up, brown, warm, slimy, dirty, moldy piece of gum. Meanwhile, at Walt's house, Walt Jr snuck off to a wild turtle racing party and Walt was breast feeding the baby while Skyler was putting some $10 vases out which weren't even made out of ceramics or whatever vases are made out of. There was a knock on the door and Walt answered it, still breast feeding the baby. It was Hank and Marie. Then came Jesse and Lauren (against their will of course), and Gus Fring. "Come in." Said Skyler as she was handed some cheap looking wine by Marie. As they all piled inside, Saul came in wearing Hannah Montana brand clothes singing Hannah Montana songs, even worse, he had makeup on and he was eating the casserole that Skyler put out to eat.  
"Saul! You ate the casserole, now I'm gonna have to get something else." Whined Skyler as she threw the tray in the garbage. Then they had to order cheese fries and greasy pizza pockets. When it got there, they brought it in and put it on the table made out of candy with Skyler's sexy lingerie as a tablecloth and they started to eat them. Suddenly, when Jesse bit in to his, a live rabid squirrel jumped out and ran across the room, destroying everything, and everyone screamed and ran all over the place.  
"THE APOCOLAYPSE IS NEAR BE DO BE DO BE DO!" Cried the flan that was on the table as it grew wings and flew away. When the squirrel finally got bored and left, everyone calmed down and ate some happy flakes, except Saul, because he's always a spazz. Suddenly, they got ambushed by the Kardashians, who tried to get with Jesse, but Lauren kicked all of them in their plastic faces and Madea roundhouse kicked Lois Griffin and Peter Griffin. Then dinner was over because Marie was on her period so they decided to get drunk. They all started getting drunk off Apple juice and dancing to wrecking ball until Miley actually came in to the house on a wrecking ball. Then Saul, Gus, Walt and Hank started doing magic mike stuff to what does the fox say, while the women threw dollar bills and skittles. Meanwhile, Walt jr was hardcore making out with the vase on the couch, licking it and everything. Then Hank broke the new table with his huge ass beer gut, and Marie went all Mortal Kombat on him, only she peed her pants when Jesse opened a soda and it fell on the floor with a BANG!  
"You son of a b-ch, you made me pee myself, now DIE!" She cried as she made a battle cry that attracted Jane and Andrea too. Then, Lauren and Jesse went all Kung fu on them and Marie, Andrea and Jane exploded and turned into minions and then pooped out skittles and jelly beans for everyone, except Hank because he was ugly. Then Vin Diesel and his friends from Fast and Furious crashed into the house, breaking half of it. Then the 6 other babies Skyler had screamed "ITS OVER 9000!" And blew up the Fast and furious people. Then everyone started to leave, while Walt and Skyler started making out on the couch, where Walt Jr was making out with the vase. While Jesse and Lauren walked home, they struck up a conversation  
Jesse: "That was awkward."  
Lauren: "yeah, it was"  
Jesse: "Babe, I'm sorry about that, It's just that everyone's weird"  
Lauren: " What was with the flying flan?"  
Jesse: " Idk, btw, do you still like me?"  
Lauren: " yes babe, of course I do."  
Jesse knew from that statement that not even an awkward dinner party could make them break up, so he just laughed and kissed her on the forehead and said "Come on, let's go home."

A/N: THE WEIRDNESS CONTINUES :DDD. Anyways, I'm doing another of these Bad!fics called "Breaking Bad goes to Universal Studios for New Years. Stay tuned for more rainbow farting minions:)  
~Cherno


End file.
